A BUSINESS MAN (and His Wife) – MARITAL COUNSELING
A businessman who owns a service company came with his wife for marriage counseling after his wife separated from him a few days before hand. After extensive individual psychotherapy and couple’s marital counseling, they later agreed to go on a Retrouvaille weekend for couples in troubled marriages. Some 10 months after the termination of counseling, he voluntarily sent the following e-mail of appreciation.
“David, I never dreamed marriage and life could be so good. We travel monthly to Cincinnati for C.O.R.E.* Its hard.. I really wish that it was feasible to start a local C.O.R.E. Its frustrating that you try to tell people about Retrouvaille but they don’t act as if they care enough about their marriage to give some effort. Because lets face it living with these dand women is hard. LOL. I also want to thank you for not letting me give up on my marriage as I was going to numerous times. Faith in GOD, you and Retrouvaille – Wow life is good thanks. Hey maybe we can start a Retrouvaille explosion in our area.”
*C.O.R.E. is “Continuing Our Retrouvaille Experience ,“ a monthly group meeting for couples who have been through the three-day Retrouvaille weekend experience for troubled marriages.
A RETIRED SCIENTIST – DEPRESSION
A man retired from work as a scientist in his early 60s and then came a year later for psychotherapy after many, many negative MRI and CAT scans and other medical procedures where he was seeking a physical/neurological explanation for his difficulties. His wife was very insistent he cease looking for a physical solution to his symptoms of lightheadedness, balance problems, and “anxiety, depression and obsessing thoughts over health.” He volunteered the following:
“The Benefits of Flag-planting That which follows is offered and shared by a ‘fellow traveler.’ For much of my adult life, I have known the pain of depression and anxiety both. Depression and depressive episodes may appear and disappear quickly or worse – linger for long periods of one’s life. In my experience and especially with the more chronic episodes, it can result in inactivity, passivity, and a kind of paralysis. It would seem that these can easily spiral downward to a place that none of us wants to find ourselves. Counseling (with a competent and compassionate psychologist) is an effective tool all of us can benefit from by learning and practicing strategies to manage and or overcome depressive episodes, and not allow them to master us.
I’ve written this short memo to confirm by my life the very real benefit from a strategy taught me by Dr. David Frederick. For men it is important that we not shrink from our rightful responsibility, yet while in depression, etc. the natural inclination may be to do just that. The anecdote or remedy to yielding or giving in is to “plant one’s banner or flag” firmly in the ground so to speak and actively be that man, that leader, which you were endowed by your Creator to become. By determining to become grounded and centered in this way, you send powerful internal messages to your entire person or body that you will never give up or yield to whoever the enemy is (depression, disease, calamity, etc.) You may experience relief from troubling physical symptoms (for me it was light-headedness) or feel generally improved all over your body, possibly for the first time in a while. If you live with family or spouse, I would expect a reaction similar to my own in which my wife noticed the 180 degree switch in behavior from ‘victim’ to “Victor”. This, in turn, changed or altered the entire dynamic of our marriage – that is, as I (the male) regained proper leadership through “banner-planting”, my wife could then let go or release control and take on and express her feminine qualities, such as tenderness, submissiveness, and other God-ordained female traits.
If you are reading this now, in all likelihood you are being counseled by Dr. Frederick. I strongly encourage you to continue with him, for he is a man of great insights, and having many effective weapons and strategies in his counseling arsenal to assist you.”
A MARSHALL UNIVERSITY COLLEGE STUDENT – ANXIETY AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
A college student with problems “with alcohol, anxiety and depression for 1 ½ years” who was diagnosed to meet criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Attention- Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder of the combined type and Alcohol Dependence. Seven years later and now a law school graduate about to sit for a State Bar examination:
“I began seeing Dr. Frederick 6 years ago, while a student at Marshall University. I am now a law school graduate. Dr. Frederick has a very different technique and approach than most psychologists. You can pay anyone and they will listen to your problems and talk to you—but do they REALLY help you? Venting is one thing, ya know, getting things off your chest. Therapy is totally different thing—which I feel most psychologists “fail” on this part. If you have ever psychologist “shopped” you know exactly what I mean.
If you want to see someone and actually BE better and not just temporarily “feel” better, then I highly suggest Dr. Frederick. His technique is very hard to find. After a session with him you walk out the door each time with a goal per se. No matter what your problems are, PTSD, ADHD, SELF-ESTEEM, PERSONALITY, ETC. he can and will help. He will guide you through with steps to help you get OVER your problem (not just around it or through it).
Things I like about his “style” that I find is much better than most of the psychologists in this state:
- He controls the tone/pace. He can easily target the problems you are having and keep the focus directed at them.
- He gives you homework assignments to work on. (depending on what your specific needs are). For example, giving you an article to read that you will find very helpful, or giving you a list to write of positive things..etc. Just essentially very simple things to do before your next session that you don’t even realize at the time how helpful they are.
- He gives you several coping mechanisms. Whether you are depressed, stressed, sad, overwhelmed..etc.
- He will help figure out what is best for YOU, and doesn’t have some sort of book he goes by to read from to give you advice.
- He bases his input on the person sitting in front of him coupled with his experience—not from what he learned in college like most of the others.
Its not technical with him–its RELEVENT.”
TESTIMONIAL OF A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER WITH ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, ANGER ISSUES, PERSONALITY DISORDER
For many years I was suffering with a range of mental and emotional issues. My anger problems in particular were the most serious, with my outbursts of near-rage becoming more and more frequent. The depression and anxiety I had struggled with for most of my life were also becoming more pronounced. Therefore, about six years ago I did something I had never done before – I sought the help of a mental health specialist.
I went to a psychiatrist first. He was good and he took the time to listen to me and analyze my symptoms, but after he diagnosed me with bipolar, medication was my primary form of treatment. I would see him once a month, and the sessions went from being a half hour or so to maybe five minutes. Still, I did have some success, and so I continued seeing this doctor. Long story short, after several months on the psychoactive drugs he had prescribed for me, I began to experience alarming side effects. His proposed solution was to put me on more medications to counter-act those side effects. That ended our association.
I didn’t see anyone else for a while, until the same issues began to afflict me (and my family, and my job performance) again. I saw a couple of other mental health specialists, but to no avail. My diagnosis was changed, and either more drugs were prescribed, or the coping strategies they offered were no better than what one could easily find in a book or on the Internet.
In any event, I hadn’t seen a doctor of any kind in about a year when I had a particularly rough time, struggling to contain my anxiety, depression, and anger. It was taking a toll on my family, and so my wife suggested I find someone again.
This time, I discovered Dr. Frederick on the new list of mental health providers offered by my insurance company. From our first telephone conversation, I realized this was going to be different. And how!
Dr. Frederick saw me once a week – not once a month – and instead of five minutes, our sessions were always an hour. At first this was uncomfortable for me, but then I realized that I was receiving far more feedback than I had ever received before. In addition, the weekly sessions made me feel more alert and more accountable – I focused more on the task at hand, which was getting better; but not just “getting better” – more like becoming a better man.
Coupled with the frequency of these sessions was the blend of practical theory and life experience that Dr. Frederick brings to the table. Instead of sterile psychological theory or some kind of vague self-help, Dr. Frederick offers sound practical theory that is grounded in real life. The “homework” he assigned me always addressed on or two specific issues at a time, and the strategies he taught me were tailored to me and my life situation. Each session seemed to build upon the last, and even when I had setbacks, we still maintained that forward momentum.
If someone asked me to sum up everything I like about Dr. Frederick, I would say “experience, time, attention, teaching, practicality, and faith.” Dr. Frederick doesn’t just have some Ivory tower college background – he has that plus decades of varied experience in the real world, from the U.S. Army, to the business world, to all of his considerable experience as a practicing psychologist. He also gives you that intensive time and attention you need, always reminding you that “this is your session” and “this is your time.” He is an excellent listener, and he is also capable of sharing excellent analogies aid personal anecdotes that shed light on whatever the issue at hand may be. Dr. Frederick is a natural teacher as well; he always made sure that I understood exactly what he was asking me to do, and often even the theory behind the strategies (which reassured me that it wasn’t just some self-help fad or some psychological quackery). The strategies and behaviors I learned from him were practical – they were concrete things I could think, say, and do on a regular basis. After awhile, they became habitual – and they worked.
I mentioned faith. If you are a person of faith – particularly, someone with a Christian background – Dr. Frederick will incorporate your faith into your treatment. He did so with me, and it was so refreshing from the other approaches I had seen, which usually ignored my spirituality altogether. Dr. Frederick helped me reconnect with spiritual resources such as Scripture and prayer, resources which hare been indispensable to my recovery. Because of this, I feel that Dr. Frederick is the only doctor who has really treated the whole person.
If you are looking for a different approach, and you are willing to do some work (Dr. Frederick doesn’t dispense miracle cures; he helps you to heal yourself), then I strongly encourage you to contact him today. He can be pretty blunt at times, and he asks a lot of you, but I can assure you that his methods have worked for me when all others have failed to produce lasting results. He is a man of reason, experience, compassion, and faith – and he wants to help you.
A UNIVERSITY STUDENT WITH MULTIPLE LIFE ISSUES
Dr. Frederick, during my time attending Marshall, I was incredibly fortunate and blessed to have been under your care. You are brilliant and insightful beyond any level practically necessitated or expected. Your ardent presence has proven indispensable to me and if I were ever to return to Huntington seeking counseling I would unequivocally once again be a patient of yours.